When You’ve Got Doll Bodies and Time on Your Hands…

This.

wtf centipede

IT’S ALIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!!!

In a shocking development for me, I’m at a little bit of a loss for words on this one.  I’m not sure what I like best about this… I love that the dolls are carefully put together in descending order, best for it to take on the appearance of some fearsome segmented creature with many stomachs to satisfy.

Though the way it’s curved…it sort of looks like Randall from Monsters, Inc., no?

Say hello to the Scream Extractor.

Say hello to the Scream Extractor.
Image from pixar.wikia.com

I love that the head doll has weird, platinum-white hair à la the murderous, telepathic space-children from Village of the Damned.

Image from deathensemble.com

And I love that the baby face just looks so goddamned hungry.

The “WTF WordPress, really?” suggested tag for this post is “Antiques and Collectibles“.  While I can sort of logically determine why this would qualify as a legitimate suggestion, anyone who collects segmented doll carcass-pedes with a hankering for blood…well, that impulse really shouldn’t be legitimized.

~XOT

Photo found at Cthulhu Hand Luke‘s Facebook page, which is a bizarre, often hilarious, freak show full of awesome and I totally recommend that you check it out.

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Hey, big fella. Look for change in THESE cushions!

Occasionally at MoWTF, we run into Things that Look Like…a Particular Other Thing.  Now, we don’t advocate that EVERYTHING that is an elongated ovoid with tapered ends looks like…this thing.  Marquise-cut diamonds, for example, just look like a bauble I wouldn’t mind dangling from a chain on my neck.

Oooh, shiny.

Oooh, shiny.

Sometimes, a cigar is just a cigar, this is true.

And sometimes, a couch looks like it’s been decorated by a row of vaginas.

If you want to remain a bachelor, pick this little beauty up.

Home decor for the committed bachelor.

’nuff said.

Our non-sequitur suggested tag today is “Volkswagen”, so here is a little history of Hitler’s pet project, the People’s Car.  Enjoy!

~XOT&D

Photo found at Q87.7’s Facebook page, sent to me courtesy of Friend of the MoWTF, Noelle W.

Straight out of the pits of hell…

…and into your living room…

…Presenting…

OK, so look, before I present this item in question, let me just say that there are no words that will allow me to express just how demented this is.  Everything is wrong, wrong, wrong about this, from the hands for back feet to the roughspun wool body to the antlers to the human face to its vacant, hellspawn eyes.  Thankfully, the design heroes lightened things up a bit with a delightful spray of flowers.  Anyway.  Behold!  Feast your eyes on the wonder that is…

…ummm…

OK, see if you can figure this out.

One soul-eater, comin' up!

One soul-eater, comin’ up!

I like that there’s detritus around its hand-shaped feet, as though it just clawed its way in to your living room to sit in front of the TV and watch the latest episode of Snooki & Jwoww.  Because you know that show is a mega-hit in Hell.

Dianna, curator extraordinaire, says, “I can’t quite figure out what to say about it without dying inside a little,” and I think that sums it up.  All I have left to add is, WTF?

(photo from imgur)

~XOT

En Garde!

There are times when you have to wonder what, exactly, gave rise to the creative genius behind certain works of art.  Take this, for example.

mole1

I came not to send peace, but a sword. –Matthew 10:34

I mean…it’s not as though you go out and hunt moles for sport.  So the proud owner of this li’l beauty was opportunistic in his or her mole-gathering (though I suppose the same can be said for something like squirrel taxidermy).

Put up again thy sword into his place: for all they that take the sword shall perish with the sword.  --Matthew 26:52

…’tis enough,’twill serve. Ask for me tomorrow, and you shall find me a grave man. –Mercutio, “Romeo and Juliet”

And they have even managed to evoke a look of agony on the face of the losing mole as a hole is poked in his too, too mortal flesh.

Lieutenant, is that your sword, or are you just glad to see me?  --Mae West

Lieutenant, is that your sword, or are you just glad to see me? –Mae West

And now we come to it: seriously, WTF?  How do you stand there with two mole carcasses and say, “Call me crazy, but I have a plan…”?  Whoever you are, taxidermy visionary and genius, we salute you for your contribution to the beautiful WTFery of this world.  Carry on!  Huzzah!

(pictures from imgur)

~XOT